Oct 15, 2010

Heaven Becomes You

Monday night, my beautiful Granny left for Heaven, and although I miss her immensely, my heart is happy that she is no longer in pain, and, is free to sing and dance in Heaven.

Granny had been in and out of hospital over the past few weeks. One day mUm would call to say she didn't think she'd see the morning, the next, Granny was saying that she would be here on Christmas Eve, so making the decision to spend a fortune to get out to Australia, when we'd be back here early December anyway, was definitely a frustratingly hard one.

But, I did make the decision for Michael and I to fly to Australia, and although I truly regret not arriving earlier, I was able to spend two days with Granny before she passed. Two days, well, more like a few hours just sitting with her, talking with her about life and, seeing her smile and laugh as Michael ran around, chatted, hugged her and kissed her hand.

A few hours!

Almost two years since I saw her last and our time together came down to a few precious hours, how is that fair? Although I know regrets are pointless, what about resentment for living so far from home? What about jealousy in that while, I was only able to spend a few days every year with her, my family, back home, simply had to drive 40 minutes to see her?

Even so, those few hours with her, were absolutely precious. I was able to tell her how much I loved her, that I wanted her to rest and find peace, and more than anything in the world, she was able to spend time with her Great Grandson.

I know that Michael will never remember her, and that breaks my heart, but, seeing her beautiful last few smiles with him will be etched into my heart forever.

Granny is now in Heaven, standing like a little girl beside her mUm and Dad that she lost so young, and I know she is looking down on me, on all of us, smiling beautifully as she always did.

And, I know she will be there watching out for me, for Michael, and I know that when I dream of her, that it's her way of popping in to say hello.

Lord give me the strength to get through the service on Tuesday.

Granny, I love you and I hope Heaven is just as beautiful as you imagined, and ever time I hear this hymm I think of you walking forward on this path I Can Only Imagine

9 comments:

  1. Jamie BrookerOctober 15, 2010

    This is a beautiful tribute. It brought tears to my eyes.

    As you know, I went through a similar time with my Grandma last year. Although we live far away from our families, they do treasure the moments we spend with them. We no longer take our visits for granted, but instead cherish them – even if they are only for a few hours. Thinking of you at this difficult time and sending you a big hug.

    Lots of Love-
    J

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  2. What a beautiful tribute you wrote for your Grandmother. And while you struggle with the few short hours you had, I hope you can find peace that those few hours are more than you could have had you not gone.


    You are a wonderful person. I know you make her proud.


    Thinking of you.


    Much love, Becky

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  3. Thanks SO much, that means a lot.

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  4. Steph SteflOctober 16, 2010

    Bless your family with peace during this time of mourning. I'm so glad you decided to go home. I'll be thinking about you, especially on Tues. Love u & hope you're handling things ok. I know this must be so hard for you & I'm so sorry for that. I have a heavy heart for you Trudes. Love, Steph

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  5. Thanks Steph, appreciate your thoughts.

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  6. "we find strength when we need to. hang in there and know i'm thinking about you. if the eulogy is half as good as your blog was, you'll be just fine."

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  7. Susan ArbuckleOctober 19, 2010

    Trudi,
    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Granny. I hope that you get some solace from the fact that you spent the last few days with her. You will always have those precious memories to keep in your mind for the rest of your life.

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  8. Please forgive me for taking so long to respond to your beautiful message. I guess the pain of losing my own "mum" this summer still lingers, although she, like your beloved granny, is also in a better place, free of pain. Perhaps they have met each other :) I am so, so glad you had even but a few hours to spend with her. You will always cherish those moments. I know I don't have to tell you to remember the happy times, and the happy smiles, for those are what truly represent the incredible soul I know your grandmother had to be...

    Until we see each other again Trudes, know that you and your family have been in my heart and will remain there for a long time. God bless you all...

    Love,
    Bob

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  9. Hi Trudi, I'm truly sorry to hear about your grandma. May she rest in peace.

    Love Mary

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